To My Kids On Mother's Day 2014

I wanted to write something to both of my kiddos today. I've been meaning to write to them on a regular basis on this blog so that they can always have this when they get older. So here we are today, my first Mother's Day with two children, and I am overwhelmed with how much  I love them both, so I must write to both of them, after all, they are the ones who made me a mother and make this day such a special day to me now.

I will start with my little lady, Lyric.

 Lyric, you are so incredibly special to me. I don't even know how to put into words how much I love you baby girl. You'll be 5 months old in just 8 days, and I really can't believe it. It sounds cliche, but time flies at the speed of light once you have kids. Lyric, you are the baby I prayed for years to be able to conceive. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever be blessed to carry a child in my womb and give birth to him or her, but then God gave me you. Last year on Mother's Day, I had just found out I was pregnant with you. I was so filled with joy, anticipation, and fear that something would happen to you. Feeling you grow in my tummy, watching my skin stretch and tear as you grew, seeing your knees, elbows, feet, and little butt poking out all over my tummy, then going through the agonizing pain of labor, and watching you as I pushed you out of my body and were placed on my chest, those were highlights of my life. My body will never be the same because of you, and that's okay. I'm going to be brave and post of picture of the stretch marks that I will try to wear with pride because they are evidence that you once lived inside of me.

Lyric, you are a light in my life in my darkest moments. I can be sad, or frustrated, or lonely, or stressed, and then you smile at me, and you melt my heart. You are so happy and cuddly, and just so precious. 

You love smiling at everyone you meet, and I have seen you bring the biggest smiles to absolute strangers' faces with your sweet smile. I pray that you grow into an amazing woman of God that continues to love people and bring smiles to the faces of others. I pray that one day you and I will have a relationship like what I have with my mother. Little girl, you are so loved. I prayed so desperately to have you, and I pray for you every day now that God gave you to us. I love you my sweet little love bug.

Now to my oldest child, Shaun.

Shaun, if you only knew how much I absolutely love you. God brought you into our lives during a time when I was losing hope of ever being a mother. The moment I met you, I knew God had made you for us. I know you are not my blood. You don't look like me or your father at all, but I still see both of us coming out in you. I know at time it's probably difficult for you knowing that you didn't grow in my tummy. I know it's hard for you that we don't have any baby pictures of you, but now we have so many of your baby sister. I know it's hard for you that we don't know when you laughed for the first time when you took your first step. My darling boy, it breaks my heart that we missed those things, but I hope you know that I love you just as deeply as I love your baby sister. 

I can't imagine life without you. You are the child that made me a mother. You are my beauty for ashes. You helped heal my broken heart after we lost our very first child to a miscarriage. You have a beautiful soul my sweet boy. You love people so much. You are a walking encyclopedia full of so much knowledge. I love you that you love to learn so much, even if your incessant questions exhaust me some days. I know I can be hard on you, but it's only because I want you to grow up to be a Godly man one day; I hope you can understand that one day. I love you so much and all your sillyness! 

You are an amazing big brother to your little sister. She adores you and thinks you are so funny. Watching you be a big brother to Lyric has made me love you even more. You are so good with her my darling boy!

I am so thankful for both of you. Thank you both for helping teach me how to be a mother. I love you both to the moon and back!